My new job

I feel it is time to announce my new profession. I am going to be a professional clapper. I really feel that this is a growth industry.

For those of you who do not know what a professional clapper is, basically I will be hired to sit in any kind of venue where applause is needed and encouraged. My job will be to get the applause going in the appropriate places. You want someone to start the clapping at a wedding, I'm the person. How about a dance recital where people are unsure of when a piece is done. Bam, I'll get it started at the right time. Maybe a concert where someone isn't quite up to performing. I'll get the audience clapping to give encouragement.

Some of you may think, really, what kind of job is this. It actually takes a lot of hard work. You have to learn how to clap properly so you dont' wear out your hands. And you have to clap loud enough to get others to join in.

If you ask nicely, I may give you a demonstration of the proper clapping technique. But then again, I may not because maybe you'll think about doing this exciting new job and take work away from me.